Hello friend,
I’ve been a bit more quiet on here, on social media, with writing, and with taking photos. I’m here today to tell you an excuse story with some big news!
Excuse = I’m tired and want to vomit all day.
Why? I’m pregnant with our fourth and final babe! Yay! I mean I’d have another but my husband is at a hard stopping point.
The wild part—I thought I just had the stomach bug until I was 8 weeks along. We’re currently 14 weeks and all looks healthy, but weeks 4-8 were a bit interesting.
*trigger warning—miscarriage*
We had a previous miscarriage back in October at 9 weeks along. This miscarriage involved a significant amount of blood and clotting and tissue. I was actually able to hold the tiny sac and fetus in my hand because it came out intact. It was an obvious miscarriage. There was no questioning it.
Fast forward a few months to when we found out, right away at 4 weeks, that we were expecting again. I usually wait a few weeks to call to schedule an appointment but because of the previous early miscarriage, I called right away.
5 weeks hit and I began bleeding again. It started and stopped for a few days and was light enough to be monitoring it without cause for huge concern. I was feeling confident everything would all be alright until one afternoon when clotting and heavier bleeding began. I, of course, thought the worst and assumed things would pick up from there and go similar to the last time, but the following day most of the bleeding had stopped.
I went in for three separate HCG blood draws. Your HCG is supposed to double every 48 hours in early pregnancy.
My first reading was 5,533 mUnits/mL. Confirmed pregnancy.
My second reading, over 48 hours later, was only 6,159 mUnits/mL. Clearly not doubled.
With the heavy bleeding, clotting, and the obvious non doubling of my HCG levels, we all assumed another miscarriage.
To be sure, I scheduled a third HCG lab draw 5 days later.
My third reading was 7 mUnits/mL.
A confirmed miscarriage.
I did think the amount of blood and clotting was oddly low compared to our previous miscarriage, but I chalked it up to the difference in weeks. There is far less going on in a uterus at 5 weeks than at 9 weeks.
The following week, a stomach bug hit our house. The kids traded off vomiting, my husband got sick, and I was queasy all week. My queasiness continued for another week.
Three and a half weeks after my confirmed second miscarriage, when my queasiness didn’t go away and started to feel less like ‘stomach bug queasy’ and more like ‘pregnancy queasy’, I was thoroughly confused.
I made a comment to my husband on a Sunday, three and a half weeks after the level 7 HCG reading, about how it felt like I was pregnant. We both thought it was near impossible.
But also…
I really wanted pickles and flaming hot cheetos.
The next morning I DIDN’T WANT ANY COFFEE.
If you know me at all, this is ludicrous. Absolute insanity.
Something was very off balance.
Despite all impossibility, I decided to take a pregnancy test in the late afternoon that Monday. Yes, the late afternoon, when an early pregnancy HCG shouldn’t even be detected. Remember, this was only 3.5 weeks after our confirmed miscarriage. For all I knew, if I was pregnant, it would have been very early in pregnancy. A MAX of 3.5 weeks along, before even a first morning pee pregnancy test is likely to pop up positive.
My results: That dark positive pregnancy line popped up before the control line.
I stared at it in disbelief for 15 minutes. Obviously a faulty test.
An hour later, I decided to take another test.
Same thing. The positive pregnancy line was as dark as dark could be the second it touched the pee.
There was no way.
I texted my husband and even he thought I was a bit insane.
At this time, my brain is more than confused. I can’t wrap my mind around any logical explanation so I call my doctor and she, also thinking I’m a bit nuts, orders another HCG blood draw.
My results come back—40,133 mUnits/mL.
FOURTY THOUSAND!!!
Now I’m freaking out. I can only think of two explanations and both of them are terrifying.
Either something is terribly wrong, such as a tumor, OR I am pregnant with no fewer than six babies.
My calm doctor suggests an ultrasound.
Turns out, the ultrasound results have me measuring around 9 weeks pregnant. With one baby.
APPARENTLY, I never had a miscarriage.
APPARENTLY, while rare, it is possible for the lab to either mess up results OR switch the results of two patients. So that’s what we’re chalking up the level 7 HCG results to—a lab error… or a human lab worker error. And we’re just guessing the bleeding was common early bleeding from a subchorionic hematoma.
To say it was an emotional rollercoaster of a few months is an understatement.
I am happily writing this good news to you as I slowly inch out of the nauseous stage of pregnancy and further into the second trimester. We have a mid October due date, our first autumn babe.
Fun fact: This baby is actually due on the date we had our previous October miscarriage. Nothing is ever a coincidence.
I told my husband that I’m trying not to complain during this pregnancy because it will be our last. We are entirely aware of our blessing. And also…I am entirely aware that nausea for three months SUCKS. But we’re not talking about that. Positive words only. So my entirely positive statement (read with a pasted on smile):
I am so excited to be in the second trimester and that I’ll never have to experience first trimester nausea again! ;)
But really, we are quite excited and I feel very lucky to get the opportunity to grow another human and bring them earth side.
<3 Tash
My vow to not waste your time
I’m predicting that I’ll have a bit less time come fall and I think I’m going to shorten these newsletters up and do a better job of casually sharing things that help keep our lives as simple as raising soon-to-be four small humans can be.
I’ll keep sharing short stories because stories are always fun. And of course poetry here and there but so far this pregnancy brain (and if I’m being honest, my distracted-wannabe-expert-gardener-this-year brain) has made for some low level thinking capabilities. Low level thinking capabilities are not great for “finishing” poems.
I’m predicting pregnancy insomnia, anxiety, and newborn sleep will only enhance this less than ideal brain activity. SO Casual Simplicity it is (see what I did there).
Hopefully this will be both good for you and for me! Short and sweet with added resources for further clicking.
Other news: My pre-baby goal is to FINALLY finish the bigger potty training course that I’ve had on the back burner for what feels like 7 years. Fun fact: all three of our kids, boys and girls, were entirely potty trained by 18-20 months. Diapers for sleep only! I have had a “Potty Train Your One Year Old” course half finished for a while. I just need to actually release it to the world and I’m determined to make that happen before October!
Congrats!!
Congratulations!!