dress your age, but not like a grandma, and feel confident, but don't be a show off
the secret to making your kids love you...wink wink (and some other things)
October 7, 2024 Edition
š” Hereās what you can expect to gain from this monthās newsletter
The secret to making your kids love you. (jkā¦of course they already do.)
If youāve had a rough transition back to school or think you need to make some changes as the school year progresses, there are 2 podcast episodes for you.
This monthās version of what Iām loving, underlining, thinking on, filing away, etc.
š Thanks for reading and supporting the Casual Simplicity newsletter, where we gather once a month to chat about simplifying and making our homes and motherhoods work for us!Ā
Hello friend,
First things firstāHappy belated birthday shout out to my hubby last week!
Second things secondā
Iāve been almost entirely off of social media this summer. It has been wonderful to say the least. I didnāt realize all the small, almost undetectable, and certainly unnecessary pressures I was putting on myself to keep up with the Jonesā. (Also, besides the point of this story, the kids are getting older and it feels like more of a āthingā now to post their faces and little voices with all the AI and weird technology out there.)
My husband, however, will still occasionally send me funny or informative videos on Facebook. So while I havenāt posted in a while or scrolled much, I still watch those.
It seems the last few times Iāve logged in over the past month, Iāve seen some sort of motherhood reel or post with statements likeā
āI love my mom because she has it all together.ā
āI love my mom because her kitchen is spotless.ā
āI love my mom because she looks put together all the time.ā
And they all end with āsaid no kid everā.
(Forgive me if these are super old news. Surely, Iām fashionably late to the party.)
I loved the good intentions of these posts. And also, every time I watched one, it felt a bit cringy.
Almost offensive in a small sort of way. They were a bit confusing and gave me this icky feeling. It seemed like every person posting this trend meant something slightly different, even though they were saying the same words.
What IS the right answer to the question? No one ever ended the video with the right answer. They all left me hanginā. They all told me no kid ever loved their mom for XYZ. But what do kids love their moms for?
Thatās the problem. Kids, especially little ones, love their moms no matter what. No matter what.
Thatās what I believe a lot of these posts meant to say. Unfortunately, they almost hung more mom guilt upon the viewersā shoulders during their attempt to pull off the sand bags.
Their words unintentionally implied confusionāSoā¦should I want to clean up my kitchen? Or should I want to leave it a total mess? What exactly does a perfect āin betweenā look like? If I clean up too well, am I trying too hard? Working too hard? Should I have been spending time elsewhere? What if I like a clean kitchen? Are we allowed to say that these days?
Am I suppose to look put together? What exactly do you wear when the goals areānot perfect but also not frumpyā¦and dressing my age but not dressing like a grandmaā¦and feeling confident without being a show off or making others feel bad about themselves?
Itās difficult to envision what ādoing your best without putting too much pressure on yourselfā looks like when the people posting are attaching beautiful videos of moms laughing and kissing their toddlerās cheek while cooking together in the kitchen alongside their words. Especially when you view their reel right after youāve tried to make pancakes and repeatedly lectured (ahemā¦yelled) at your four year old, āFor the NINTH time, I am repeating, TAKE YOUR SPIT COVERED FINGER OUT OF THE BATTER and go wash your handsā¦again.ā
I assume these trending posts mean to sayāDonāt put so much pressure on yourself. Do your best every day, whatever that looks like for your family on that day. Some days that might look like a pretty darn clean house and a cheerful game night with your kids. Some days that might mean taking some deep breaths and apologizing to your kids at the end of a very long day for yelling too much.
Some days youāll do amazing things, youāll be amazing. Some days, youāll fail in small ways and win in others. Some days, youāll just failā¦repeatedly. This is the nature of being fallen humans and parents who are students of parenting each and every day of their lives.
Days are just days. Keep trying. Take responsibility. Keep maturing.
Motherhoodās a trip.
the Casual Simplicity Podcast
Episode 01 Back to School Rhythms - Kid Routine Checklists
Back to school rhythmsāfind your morning, after school, and nightly rhythms whether you homeschool or attend school outside of the home. Create a visual to help keep everyone on task without feeling the need to nag so much!
Episode 02 Organize Your Entryway For School Year Success
What to keep and what to declutter in your entryway, how you might organize, and how you might use your entryway to work for you this school year.
NATASHAāS PICKS
For the mothers behind and beside us š«¶
Weāre all both ahead of and behind other women in our motherhood journeys. I used to think both my messiness and successes were insignificant. There are millions of other mothers ahead of me. But there are also a million other mothers behind and beside me.
Iāve learned that what we see as mundane and unimportant might just be foundational school for another mother. Letās bravely invite others in.
Hereās what Iām loving, underlining, thinking on, filing away, etc.ā
āYou couldnāt shake a wet noodle without slapping up against another story having nothing to do with an athleteās physical prowess and everything to do with their physical attributes. Sorry, Brats. Itās the Summer of Sausages. We should have called it the Olymp-Dicks.āā this article is old, back from the olympics this summer, but I was crying while reading so itās certainly worth your few minutes if you need a good chuckle.
This comfy blouse and pant combo from Target. I donāt usually buy myself clothes when Iām super pregnant or early postpartum (for obvious reasons). BUT I would be lying if I didnāt say that Iām super excited to look cute while being loung-y within this next month of early postpartum.
āI remind the kids that tomorrow is the first day of school, and they should be on the lookout. Look for the kids who have nowhere to sit. Look for the kids who are new. Look for someone who seems lost, who seems like they donāt have any friends. And for the love, if someone is late to class and everyone turns around to stare, offer that kid a big smile, okay?āā
, I loved this article so much that a few times a week I too remind my kindergartener to look for the friends that are alone and need an invite to play.
Just the other day, she came home with a heart sob of a story of how she ādid what we talked aboutā and invited someone in to play at recess (a story for another day). All that is to say, what we say to our kids does soak into their brains. Just because we donāt see it working right away, doesnāt mean itās not making waves and loads of ripples.I REALLY like this idea. My husbandās current work schedule would not allow this to work for our family. But I wanted to share because I found the idea of being fully off duty on occasional weeks really enticing. When my parents had a year of Hello Fresh, they regularly gave us meals to try. I loved that the planning and grocery shopping (and half of the prep) was already done for you. It kind of made me realize that the part of food I didnāt like was the mental load. I didnāt mind the actual cooking as much as I had thought.
A mom friend of mine carries around play dough and a notebook or one of those plastic drawing pads with her to use as a ātrayā in her bag. Our daughters are in a few things together where our littler ones wait around for an hour until they are done. Usually Iām a big meanie and only bring like one thing for the other kid to do. They get real good at waiting this way. Howeverā¦now that we have to wait around at things 3+ nights a week, Iāve gotten a little nicer. The play dough has been a perfect addition for our 2 year old!
Ready to simplify? But swap clean fridge fronts with one-of-a-kind unicorn drawings. And swap middle aged men ordering the immediate declutter of your toaster with a fellow mom and her 4 slicer.Ā
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Octoberās
tiny taskāSCHOOL FOLDERS
Super quick simplifying taskāIf you donāt have something set up already, create a location for your school folders to be put at the end of your school day. Maybe you have a basket you can use? Or maybe you simply tell your kids about a ādesignated counter locationā where their school folders will be set down each day.
Where do you put yours? Is your system working for you?
Talk next month!
Natasha, you should do a pregnancy self portrait photo essay āØ